aka Survivor Jargon

Tweets, sexting “unfriended” in U.S. banned word list

I just saw Lake Superior State University’s (“LSSU”) 35th annual list of words or expressions that should be banned. The committee attacks slang sweeping through our culture like “tweeting,” “sexting,” or the ever popular “chillaxin,” which is a cross between “chillin” and “relaxin.”

On a list that includes “toxic assets” and “too big to fail,” LSSU hopes to exile “shovel ready” which Reuters defines as follows:

The term refers to infrastructure projects that are ready to break ground and was popularly used to describe road, bridge and other construction projects fueled by stimulus funds from the Obama administration.

Not so fast, LSSU.

I like “shovel-ready.” But I prefer Urban Dictionary’s definition:

Apt description of being prepared to release when necessary a big ol’ whopper of an excuse for offending behavior of any sort.

[Usage] After Paul was dumped naked on his parent’s lawn and left for dead, he arose secure in the knowledge he was “shovel ready” to explain everything.

So when it comes to bankers bonuses, can’t we agree the justifications sound “shovel ready?” And what about the time during 2009, when Lloyd Blankfein said Goldman was doing “God’s work?” Sounds “shovel ready” to me.

What are your favorite words to vote off the island?

Hopefully, we won’t see “Ponzi” so much this year.

Norb Vonnegut