People email me all kinds of things. Photos. Gossip from Wall Street. Viral jokes. About anything you can imagine. Sometimes I get stuff from the wrong side of barbed-wire fences.

Like today. This photo of Bernie Madoff arrived fifteen minutes ago from the federal correctional complex in Butner, North Carolina.

Just remember, this is the BEFORE shot.

Talk about rotten timing. My paperback comes out tomorrow, and buy-in from the world's foremost Ponzi artist is the last thing I need. Top Producer was doing just fine thanks to kind remarks from Publishers Weekly, Smart Money, and the Today show.

According to my sources, Madoff was all smiles at first. His copy of Top Producer arrived Christmas morning in a manila envelope. There was no gift wrapping, just the words "Bad Secret Santa" for a return address.

Perhaps the mystery sender was a clue.

Madoff's copy of Top Producer was no ordinary gift. Page fifteen was dog-eared upon arrival. A note at the bottom of the page said something about “sleeping with the fish.” I’m still trying to get the exact wording.

All I know is that Madoff was ashen by the end of the third chapter. He hasn’t been seen outside his cell since. And now he's giving a three-fingered salute to anyone who tries to bring him food.

That's the AFTER shot I want.

Do you have a photo of Bernie Madoff after he finished reading Top Producer? I'll mail a free copy to anyone whose picture I post. There's got to be one floating around somewhere. I mean, will you look at the the paparazzi above? And in the prison yard no less.