Last week I took a cue from Clint Eastwood and talked shop with an empty chair. Here's how that conversation went. (And yes, as with the Pale Rider, you only get to hear my side).

It's January. Time for us to sit down and discuss our partnership. No, I don't intend to just sit on you. Get serious, okay?

And by serious I mean we should start the New Year right, by examining how we work together: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

What–you don't want to go there?

I guess that's no surprise. Examining our partnership feels something like unraveling a plate of spaghetti. It's sure to get messy.

And when management catches wind, they'll butt in and add to the confusion. After all, their talk of "team productivity" is just another way to cut payouts and tie us down with more deferred comp.

Bump that. This is our business. We built it. We can change whatever we want or go somewhere else.

What–you don't like the word "change?"

Oh, chill out. I've been telling clients how great you are for years. I'm not about to jeopardize our revenues. Besides, you have skills I don't.

Remember the time you kick-saved our account in New Jersey? That was sick, buddy. Absolutely sick. Nobody can manage a relationship like you.

But look. We haven't had any big wins recently. Finding clients used to be like picking low-hanging fruit. Now I'm wondering if the magic is gone, if we should try something else.

Besides, there are few things I need to get off my chest. I know you have more clients. But I'm the one who brought in all of the new assets during the last six months.

What–you need to discuss a few things with me?

Go ahead. Make my day. But I'll go first.

Remember the time Jill called the desk? She asked where you were. Which, you must admit, put me in a bad position. Our shared calendar said you were in a meeting with her at that very moment. You've got to stop with the white lies. I'm not covering for you.

Continue Reading at the Wall Street Journal.