Note to the parent in this story: If you find this blog, I recommend you abandon your legal practice, travel to Hollywood, and write the threats that inevitably find their way into action movies. You, sir, are a real talent.
But, dude, you said these things to a priest. What were you thinking?
Priest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A few weeks ago I was sitting in church, listening to the sermon. The priest was visiting from a nearby college, where he is one of the deans. He was edgy, irreverent. I liked him right away. He told us this story that began with “Princess,” his term of endearment for one of the summer school students enrolled at his college.
Princess did not take any classes from the priest. He’s an administrative dean. But he returned to his office one morning, where the girl’s dad left this message on the answering machine. The caller introduced himself as a parent and practicing attorney:
“Father, I think you should look at the grade my daughter received on her last paper. I recommend you read the paper, start to finish, and consider very carefully whether it’s really a C. Because if you don’t, I’ll sue you personally. I’ll sue the college and the professor who gave it to her. I’ll sue for tuition, for my daughter’s transportation expense, and for the reduction in earnings that follow grades like these over the course of a forty-five year career. Forty-five years, Father, forty-five years. I’ll sue for pain and suffering. Not only hers but everybody else’s in the family. We’re all completely distraught. My wife didn’t sleep last night, and now I’m not sure she can get out of bed. Which, as you might guess, is taking an enormous toll on me. I’m ready to sue for her medical expenses, and I’m sure you know what they cost these days. But, Father, it’s been a pleasure speaking with your machine…really. I hope you have a nice day.”
Dial tone.
After church, I raced home and recorded this threat right away. My point is—the dialogue is really, really close to what the priest told us that day. But now, as I’m re-reading his words, I can’t help but wonder:
Is this dad’s rant the new normal?
The New York Times describes my novels as “money porn,” “a red-hot franchise,” and “glittery thrillers about fiscal malfeasance.” Through fiction I explore the dark side of money and the motivations of those who have it, want more, and will steamroll anybody who gets in their way.
Norb – I’m not sure about “normal” but it’s not uncommon. A friend of mine works in the HR department of a large company, and they’ve recently had to create a form letter to send to the PARENTS of job applicants who are not offered a position. Apparently, it’s become fairly common to receive irate phone calls and emails when Junior doesn’t get hired. Very sad. On the other hand, it probably confirms they made the correct hiring decision.
Yikes. And to think. I thought somebody was ghostwriting that threat for the lawyer. 🙂 Amazing story about the HR department. I can’t imagine what happens when the kids get fired.
Norb, this rant is so ridiculous I don’t even know how to categorize it! If this is the new normal then let’s hope that writers can fictionalize these tales to bring them to light and end this trend. I’ve also heard of companies that are trained to deal with these helicopter parents because it’s become such a trend. I fully intend to let my son fail wonderfully on his own, but be there to lend a hand to guide him on his next path.
The guy’s rant almost reads like Aaron Sorkin wrote it.