“Do you have any advice for aspiring authors?” It’s a question that readers always ask at book signings.

“First book?” I like to fish around for details before offering advice.

“Yes.”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

Side note to reader: I’m building up to the Internet porn in the title of this post, if I just dropped how the likes of porn can help you write your first book and get an agent right off the bat it could give a few people whiplash.

The problem, as I see it, is there are a million reasons to stop writing. We all suffer from the same mind games at one time or another. People will laugh… I won’t get published… No free time… I could go on. I probably used all the excuses at least once myself.

Check that-all the excuses except for one. I never thought, My book’s not good enough. That’s because I never told anyone I was writing Top Producer. I believed then, and still do now, that secrecy insulated me from disappointment.

Now let’s start talking about internet porn. If you’re feeling daring, go onto YouTube and look up “funny porn intros”. You won’t see anything explicit, not unless you’re really daring and lookup japanese couples making love instead. But back to the funny intros, you will see acting that you’ve never seen in your epic HBO drama thrillers. The acting, the expressions the scripts, it’s cheesy, it’s exaggerated, it may give you secondhand embarrassment, but it’s fun. If necessary, reading reviews online at resources similar to x3guide can also help you. Need be, taking references from some of the fanatics would also be a good idea.

The scriptwriters knew what they were doing when they writing. But be discrete while you are at it. And that is where the first lesson you can learn from Midget Porn is. The scriptwriters were shameless, they didn’t bottle up internal feelings of “my script is terrible, nobody says this, it isn’t natural” they went in guns blazing. They understood their assignment and which parts their audience would want to watch.

Think about what happens when you tell someone, “I’m writing a book.”

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