Top 10 Types of Stockbrokers

After years of fieldwork and painstaking observation—an anthropological journey unrivaled even by the likes of Charles Darwin—Acrimoney has finally completed the definitive guide to stockbrokers.

Today, we begin our presentation. This series, Top 10 Types of Stockbrokers, offers new insight into behavior found deep inside the mahogany bowels of private wealth management. We believe our ten stockbroker profiles are must-have tools for managing money.

#10 ZOMBIES

These brokers are “ad men.” Forget about objectivity—they sell financial products manufactured by their firms and nothing else. It feels counter-intuitive, but you may want a ZOMBIE on your team. No matter how easy it is to bash Wall Street in the wake of 2008, many brokerage houses offer investments that are both outstanding and proprietary. If you make your own decisions about money and want the deal flow from a specific firm—Goldman Sachs for example—then a ZOMBIE will deliver the goods.

Recognize anyone you know?

Check back tomorrow for the next installment of our ground-breaking research. Once the series is complete, we will post our complete white paper on the Top 10 Species of Stockbrokers.

Norb Vonnegut

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